MOM Blog, Daily Notes from a Work at Home Mom…

What does Being Nice Say about YOU? 

When someone says something to you,  or someone posts something on the internet and it rubs you wrong, do you fire back with a comment? 

• How do you feel after you say it?
• How does the other person feel after you say it?

Do you sometimes take things personal, even if they are not directed to you personally?

We as representatives in the Direct Sales industry need to consider we are working among thousands of others, and each has their own mindset, each has their own opinion, each has been educated a different way, each sees things in a different light.

While we may feel their 'opinion' is wrong, it is not our place to 'set them straight' as each of us is on our own journey and who are we to question their beliefs?  Who are we to question their facts? 

For every 'fact' there is a counter claim somewhere on the internet.  For every belief there are 10 people who believe something totally different. Does mean they are wrong?  Nope.

Just like Religion and Politics, some things are best left un-debated!

So when we come across something on the internet and we are so powerfully drawn to 'correct' someone, perhaps it is best we take the higher ground and remain silent.  Remembering that we are being 'watched' all the time by potential customers, possible team members, others in our own companies and beyond.

Set and example, stand tall, shine bright!

Alethea Anderson
Shining!

WHEW what a weight LIFTED!  I tell you I had recently started a series of blogs, it was going to be based upon an exerpt from Napoleon Hill's Think and Grow Rich, but it was really dragging me down.

Have you ever had that happen to you?  You start out with what you feel is a bright and inspirational idea, then the more you move forward, the darker you feel?  Just heavy, pulled down, and out of sorts?

My idea was this, I was going to feature the 30 reasons that people fail from the book.  Now the spin on this was fully positive, to shed light on the negative in hopes people may recognize some of these traits within, thus inspiring movement forward, onward and upward.

Well, I was 8 blogs in, but the more I wrote about failure, the more it pulled me down.  Though I was moving towards a positive goal, and though the book Think and Grow Rich is based upon positive mind set, the series of blogs was making me sink.  It was so strange...

I thought I had a wonderous idea for a month's worths of blogs, well, ewwww.   So, I logged in to blogger, checked 8 little boxes and wiped them out.   DELETE sometimes is the sweetest word on a computer keyboard!

Onward and upward to positive minded and inspirational posts.

Alethea Anderson
No Room for Negatives

"2. LACK OF A WELL-DEFINED PURPOSE IN LIFE.  There is no hope of success for the person who does not have a central purpose, or definite goal, at which to aim.  Ninety-eight out of every hundred of those whom I have analyzed had no such aim.  Perhaps this was the major cause of their failure." ~ Napoleon Hill, Think and Grow Rich

This rings so true, if you do not know which direction you are going, how are you going to get there?  It is SO and I stress with much emphasis SO important that you know what you want to accomplish and what you want to be before you head out on the path to get there.

How possibly can one get there, if they do not know where 'there' is?    You have to think ahead and know where you are going before you decide to leave where you are and arrive where you want to be...

Alethea Anderson
Defined

Perhaps hereditary reasons can be a case for FAILURE, if one is in the habit of blaming their genes for their lack of success.  However in my personal opinion, someone who is not up to 100% of mental function due to a hereditary problem could not possibly be categorized as a failure in home business because someone who was not up to 100% of mental function would probably not have a desire to be an entrepreneur. 

However, if there were someone who were not  mentally operating at 100% and HAD the desire to be an entrepreneur, I bet you they'd be a SUCCESS because their passion would outweigh their illness.

So in the case of this instance applied to home business I think it's entirely possible someone may attempt to use this as an excuse....  i.e. saying their Dad did poorly in school which led to them doing poorly in school which led to their failure.  However as you can see this would be said by someone of sound mind, who did not have confidence to step outside of the box.  Not said by someone with a genuine illness of the mind.

By far a difficult one to dive into, and can be pondered upon in so many angles!

Tomorrow, Failure Cause #2!

Alethea Anderson
My DNA Rocks

If you are a frequent reader of my blogs, you know I firmly believe anything is possible and that I normally do not use the word FAIL within my vocabulary.  I personally feel that one who FAILS at something could most certainly overcome this failure with an edit in behavior and/or mindset.

However over the next 30 days we are going to explore 30 reasons people fail. This list is compiled from thousands of interviews done over the course of 25 years.  These interviews were with extremely successful people as well as some who never achieved their dreams.  Empahsis on those who shared not only their triumphs, but also their failures and how they overcame them.

From these thousands of people a pattern was noticed, and 30 things were a commonality between those who had failed (then overcome)  This is the list that I will be sharing with you.  If you struggle in any areas of your life, I highly recommend you follow this course.  Even if you do not feel you fail in any areas of your life, I recommend you follow the course as well as it may help you see things within you tha you were not aware of.  They may also make you more aware of persons whom you interact with, and this list may enlighten you as to their actions and how they perceive their own lives filled with failure.

I give full credit to the list of "30 Reasons People Fail" to Napoleon Hill from his book Titled "Think and Grow Rich".  Within this book is a section titled "The 30 Major Causes of Failure" and I was inspired to feature one reason per day over the course of 30 days, adding my personal thoughts on how this can apply to someone in their own home business.

As we move forward, I encourage you to take out a paper and pen and jot down some reasons you feel you may have failed in some areas of your life, and see if they match up with the list as we go forward.  This list will help you get from where you are, to where you want to be!

Alethea Anderson
30 Reasons I don't Fail

Today's post is a spin off from yesterday's post "Does Talent = Success in MLM?"

After I wrote it I got thinking... You see, in order to be successful you do NOT need to be talented... So this message is almost the alter ego from yesterday's message.  Both posts portraying the exact same message, yet in different ways.

You see, yesterday's message was catered to those who know they are talented, and assume that talent will bring them greatness.

Today's message is catered to those who feel they have no talent, and assume this lack of skill will result in failure.

As I stated yesterday, talent is not a measure of success.  Talent must be followed by BELIEF and PASSION.  Without the latter two parts of the equation, talent, is just that, talent...

Now keep in mind one does NOT need to have talent in order to be successful in the home business industry.  You do not need a high school diploma nor a college degree. You do not need to be well spoken.  You do not need to be rich or beautiful.  It does not matter your color, your religion or where you grew up.


I honestly feel that those without talent, yet have a powerful passion and belief most certainly dominate those 'talented' individuals who lack passion and belief.

If you have passion and belief, simply head towards your goal.  One foot in front of the other, until you get from where you are to where you want to be.

Alethea Anderson
Passion & Belief

So, do you think if you are talented, you'll be successful?  Truth be told.  No.

Someone can be a talented racecar driver, but if they don't believe in themselves, they'll never win the race.

Someone can be talented at the art of selling, but if they don't ask for the sale, they'll never sell anything.

Someone can be talented at drawing, but if they don't market their gifts to the world, they'll never be discovered.

Someone can be talented at singing, but if they don't show people they can sing, they'll never be heard.

Someone can be talented at writing, but if they don't publish their work, they'll never be read.

You see TALENT is only one part of the equation.  One must have a passion to turn that talent into success.  One must have the drive to escalate that talent to work for them.  One must market their talent so they are seen and heard by the world.  Most importantly, one must BELIEVE that they actually HAVE talent because if one does not BELIEVE that they can ACHIEVE the highest levels, then they'll never get there.

No one will win the race, sell something, be an artist, a singer or an author if they don't believe in themselves.  All those whom are successful started where they were, and took the steps to get where they wanted to be...

Got talent?

Alethea Anderson
Believing...

Do you spend 100% of your home business time, in your office chair?

This is border line couch-potato, more like computer potato, but since you don't sit ON the computer it's an office chair potato.  Well, unless you have your lap top with you on the couch, then I suppose couch potato still applies.

Anyways, I do have a moral to this episode of rambling.  My home business is mainly web based during the winter months.  The weather is cold.  It's snowing.  It's raining. It's icy.  And dang it,  I love wearing my jammies and bathrobe when it's freezing.  Usually I'm more out and about in the Spring and Summer with samples, card dropping, etc... But it's just been so COLD, I've become a bit potato-like and peeling this potato was a bit of a challenge....

Well, a month or so ago I dropped off a gift basket to my dentist office when I had a cleaning, they are such a friendly crew so I brought them some candles and some of our gourmet soy bars.  I kept intending to call them, but I kept waiting a little longer since it was 'sooo cold...'  

Well Monday they called, and ordered a new candle.  Awesome!   A few minutes later, after a hygenist in the office heard that the other gal ordered a candle, she called to order one too.  Fantastical!  So I get there to drop off the order, and what happens?  The gal behind the counter asks if she can have a party.  She ASKS ME if she can have a party?

So there's my sign with flashing lights. I think it's warmer out, wait, that's me feeling like a hot potato!   I dropped ONE local seed in all of 2010, and it sprouted into 2 orders AND a party.  Now what if I was planting one seed per day? Two?  Three?  Umm-hmmm... Yep.  Got it.  No rain, no snow, no sleet... Let's ROCK!

Alethea Anderson
Got it!

The good news is you have 100% CONTROL over YOUR mood regardless of the moods of those around you!   One simply can not 'blame' their mood on the day, the weather, their hair or someone else.  Well they 'can' and often DO but the reality of this is, it is a CHOICE!

If you wake up and slam your foot on the corner of the dresser and say "ARGH this day is going to SUCK!"  you are going to create that reality....

If you look out the window and see the sun is hiding and say "BLAH another crappy day with no sun!"  you are going to have a crappy day...

If you have a cow lick that just won't go away and you think "GREAT, this just RUINS my day!"  you are ALLOWING 'hair' to ruin your day...

If your day is going along swimmingly, everything is perfect, you get up, get dressed, eat a healthy breakfast then get a junky email from some family member spilling all their woes about their horrible weekend and then you just feel like crap. Well, honestly, you are ALLOWING that email to create the way you feel.

In every moment we have a choice.  Let's flip the above scenarios....

Slam you foot and say "OUCH" then tell yourself it's just a moment that soon shall pass, and head to the shower with a smile!

Look out the window and see no sun, but then look at the world around you and see the birds singing, find a smile in the moment!

That pesky cow lick just won't cooperate, laugh it off, it is what it is!

A jerky email from a family member, don't absorb it!   Think about how fantastical YOUR weekend was and sent them a little note like "sorry to hear about your bum weekend, it's a new day today, start fresh and leave your weekend behind you!"

How this blog came about was I got a phone call today from someone who had that 'tone' in their voice.  You know that "I'm not happy" tone.  They were very brief on the phone, then promptly exited the call. I sat here thinking 'jeez, I wonder what is bugging them..' and I caught myself geting pulled into the lows that person projected.  I had to tell myself 'NO!'  and I went and played with my dogs for a few minutes, animals are so 'in the now' and can snap you out of a funk in a second.

I made a CHOICE to be happy!   What do YOU choose?

Alethea Anderson
Choosing HAPPY!

As a Leader in the MLM industry, myself and other leaders have often had conversations about what kind of help is the most beneficial, and which type of assistance is actually harmful in the long run.

When I first got started in this industry I'd actually DO the work for people.  I'd build their websites for them, if they had no product I'd give some to them, if they were out of catalogs I'd hand them right over. If they had questions I'd provide them the answer within a matter of minutes.

I thought I was doing them a favor by giving away the farm!  I quickly learned a lesson, I was training these team members to want a hand out vs coaching them to seek a hand up when they needed one.

I'd have people who soon 'expected' hand outs.  They 'expected' answers within moments and would become stressed and upset if I were not availble that very second!  If I did not answer my phone, they'd call and call and call and leave message after message after message in a panic.

I created monsters!!!

I was not actually helping them one bit, I was actually making them help-less by creating a 'need' and not empowering my team members with the confidence to take the steps to get from where they were to where they wanted to be.

What do I mean by Hand OUT vs Hand UP?

• A hand out would be when someone said they needed 'just one' catalog, so I'd pay postage out of my pocket to mail one right out. 
• A hand out would be when someone asked a question like 'what is corporate's phone number' and I'd just give it to them. 
• A hand out would be when someone would want me to do the work FOR them, and I would....

Now the difference in showing someone the way, vs just saying "here ya go"

• A hand up would be when someone needed 'just one' catalog but instead I show them where catalogs can be ordered in the back office, plus give them ideas on how to successfully use the catalogs by lifestyling their business and/or booking parties and events.
• A hand up would be when someone asks a question like 'what is corporate's phone number' and I guide them to where it is located on their website.
• A hand up is when someone asks me to do the work FOR them and I offer advice and tips and offer to review the work once they've completed it.

I can honestly say that not ONE person who I 'handed out' to is still in the business.  They always quit.  Often those seeking hand outs have short lived careers in this industry as they are constantly seeking the 'easy button' and they don't have the passion or persistence to keep moving forward.

So an important Leadership Tip is to give a hand UP not a hand OUT.  Be there for your team members as a coach and leader.  Be there as a guide and a trainer.  But don't do the work FOR them.  Show them the sources, help them with the tools, teach them the way to utilize the tools properly.

We each have the same tools, it's the person holding the tool that makes the difference.  Only passion and persistence will win in this industry!  Keep moving forward!

Alethea Anderson
Hand UP!